Missing Xmas Presence

Santa Claus has always been good to me .. in fact he ... the tooth fairy .. and the easter bunny .... have never  .. ever ... let me down. Every Xmas ... all you have to do is believe and the old boy comes through .. every single time.

I have received some very interesting gifts from Santa over the years ... gifts that seemed to test the limits of my abilities ... gifts that in other hands would have sparked an educational or artistic endeavour .. but in my hands seemed to fuel something else altogether.

The first such gift of this kind was a wood burning kit ... it consisted of small wood panels with lightly lined art work already outlined on them ... using a soldering iron like tool ... and different interchangeable tips .. .the idea was to burn in the lines in an artistic way such that you would have a framable piece of artwork ... I tried that for a while but found the tool was better used for burning through the torsos of my small plastic toy soldiers ... I don't know how many suffered this fate .. but it was quite a few ... 

The next such gift of this kind I remember receiving was a chemistry set ... basically a metal suitcase of various powdered compounds and elements ... that when you followed the directions supplied ... allowed the young scientist to create reactions that combined various components to yield something new. It came with an alcohol burner .. which I of course used to light the toy soldiers on fire ... oh I did follow some of the experiments ... the one on making smoke bombs was a total success ... I had to open the basement windows to clear the smoke ... 

The two gifts though ...  that really proved to me that I wasn't quite the same as other kids ... were an erector set and a set of interlocking plastic bricks .. not lego ... but something similar ... I would use both to build the exact same thing .. i would build a vehicle with the erector set .. and a house with the blocks ... and I would build them over ... and over .. and over again ... not on the same day .. but each time I played with the set or the blocks ... and I would never complete either one .. I would always stop at the same place each time ... 

Even I knew then ... there was something odd about this ... I never figured out why I couldn't complete the vehicle or the house ... I have two recurring dreams that seem to be related to this ... and I think one dream just morphed into the other as I grew older ... 

The first one concerns the basement on City Line ... I am trying to enclose the basement stairs .. meaning the space beneath them to make a space that I can play in ... I get to the point where I am almost finished and the space starts expanding to the rest of the basement ... I now need to enclose more and more space .. and as hard as I work at it .. the space just keeps getting larger ... 

This morphed into another dream .. I have purchased a house that needs work ... I then decide to expand the house from a one story bungalow to two stories ... no matter how hard I work at it I can't complete it .. there is always something that doesn't line up .. or a floor .. or ceiling .. or wall ... that is dangling in space .. not enclosed ... 

I am no analyst or psychiatrist ... but I am guessing I needed help and guidance to finish the stair project and the house ...just like I needed help and guidance to use the Xmas gifts I received ... I never got it .. I just had to figure out on my own ... and I never did ... 

Santa delivered the goods every time ... but for some reason ... he always forgot that their use requires parental supervision and participation ... I mean that goes without saying doesn't it ... ? Of course it does ... until it doesn't ... 


Phil - (25 December 2020 - San Patricio de Melaque - 7:41 PM)


Krome Koan - 'Science ... more than a wild ass guess'






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