Shock Strap

Lets see .. can we sum up 9 years at Beaconsfield School in one post? I think we can .. we will take in it thirds .. Grade 1 to 3 ... ages 6 - 9 ... 1956 - 1959 ... 

I remember smelling the pulp mill at Reversing Falls for the first time in the Grade 1 classroom ... I remember an older teacher showing us how to walk like the queen .. toes forward .. feet pointing straight ahead ... I remember the Xmas pageants ... my favorite part of those years .. I was a Xmas tree in one .. I remember saying I didn't want to do it .. the teacher yelled do it .. and I immediately recited the rhyme .. she could barely stifle a laugh .. I learned to read and write ... and reading was a big deal for someone living in their head ... 

Grade 4 ro 6 - ages 10 to 13 - 1959 - 1962 - I was getting tall enough that I stood out ... and I was becoming a target for teasing because of the size of my feet ... also negative body esteem kicked in ... large lower trunk body .. 90  weakling upper body ... more Xmas pageants ... this was when school started affecting my health .. I was nervous all the time ... vaccinations ... I would worry about for weeks .. gym class .. I dreaded .. speaking in class, I dreaded ... I tested poorly even though I knew the stuff .. I just choked under pressure ... the teachers became more authoritarian and thus my fear of them ... 

Grade 7 to 9 - ages 14 - 16 -  1962 - 1965 - this was my worst period at school ... low self esteem all over ... we started doing drills .... going to the basement in case of nuclear attack .. I still have a scrap book we had to work on as part of social studies about the Cuban missile crisis ... nobody explained anything to me .. nobody said a thing .. my mother and father said nothing ... I assume my mother was glued to the TV ... the Kennedy assassination .. news was broadcast over the school PA .. one of the girls in the class .. I still remember her name ... asked .. is there going to be a war? .. teacher didn't know ... The Beatles on Ed Sullivan ... the old man was talking through the performance ... I asked him to be quiet .. he threatened to send me to my room ... I was literally consuming books now .. science fiction themed .. I went to a grade 8 dance ... I assume I had to for some reason ... Ken Tobias and his brother were the band .. lots of folk music ... by now I was the target of some serious attention by those who deemed I was a helpless nerd and needed to be verbally harassed ... I was lucky to get out without an ulcer ... I measured myself up to everyone else around me and failed that test constantly ... 

There is more here .. but it would be a litany of self esteem issues and I think I have painted the picture well enough .. there is one thing that I do want to cover in just a bit more detail ... and that is the school principals use of something he called a 'reign of terror'. 

Basically the way it worked is if you were deemed to be breaking any rule .. however it was defined at the moment ... you were marched off to the office and strapped ... if the offense was deemed serious enough, you were strapped in front of your class .. and the offense could be the smallest little thing  .. like not lining up properly after recess ... I was absolutely fucking terrified of this ... I am ashamed to say ... and at least three of my classmates got the front of the classroom corporal punishment .. I still remember who they are .. and I still remember the process .. right out Hitler's playbook ... I know all the teachers involved in this .. I never forgot their names .. I can still see them .. and the teacher that did the strapping was ...shall we say... in good shape ... up on his toes with strap and then full body weight coming down with a snap at the end like a golf swing ... the fuckers enjoyed it ..

I eventually overcame my fear of this kind of authority ... when I realized it was the fear that empowered them ... I would love to discipline these fuckers myself ... it would be caning .. not the strap ... I never forgot those 'reigns' .. obviously ... and I never forgot those who were enthusiastic participants ... I can still see the principal ... suit perfectly pressed ... shoes that shone like the sun .. blood wavy hair combed back ... starch white shirt ... perfectly knotted tie ... presiding over the 'punishment' ... I remember you motherfucker ... you and your 1963 Chevrolet Impala ... green ... I fucking remember ...

Phil (16 December 2020 - San Patricio de Melaque - 8:23 PM)

Krome Koan - 'It's not the school .. it's the principal of the thing"