Despair out of a Year's Growth

I remember compiling a list a few years ago of the skills ... you would need as young woman or man ... to navigate your way upon leaving home in the 'real world'. Once I had a list I thought was reasonably complete, I started checking off the skills that I had at that time... but I couldn't check anything off .. I didn't have any of them .. there was nobody ever released from the home environment to take on the world with less preparation than I had.

Full credit here to my mother for finding a place for me to live .. I surely would not have known how to do it .. I ended up boarding on Regent Street ... just two blocks from the University .. and as luck would have it the Engineering Building was literally at the lower end of the Campus ... simply two blocks away. This would have been 1969 - 1970. I barely passed my first year which was unusual for me .. my average basically dropped about 20 points. UNBSJ was basically an extension of high school but without the caretaking of  a home room teacher to remind you of shit. I had enrolled in Chemical Engineering .. why? .. because I didn't know what I wanted to do and the guidance counselor said I was good in Chemistry and Math.

There were between 125 and 150 students in the second year engineering class .. all classes were common until third year .. when you split out into Civil, Mechanical, Chemical, etc. ... so the prof was this small figure at the front of a lecture theatre or lecture hall ... speaking but not heard .. and handing out notes and assignments, etc. I was lost at school .. I was lost where I boarded .. I had discovered Rolling Stone magazine ... I spent all my time .. reading about .. thinking about and listening to music ... I think I had my guitar ... and I would hitchhike home on the weekends or take the bus ... it was the year of Woodstock and Altamount ... Abbey Road .. (I first heard Abbey Road in a car I had hitched to Saint John) .. CSN ... LZ .. The Flying Burrito Brothers ... Let It Bleed ... Tommy .. and so much more ... 

I failed the year miserably ... and I mean the year in all aspects ... just a complete loss ... except for the music which was what I turned in the absence of everything else I have already talked about. I don't remember what the old man's reaction was .. maybe ne never knew ... but my mother wanted to separate me from my record collection ... I told her bluntly that it was the only thing that I lived for ... if you separate me from that, forget about school.

I don't remember what the decision process was for me to go back to repeat second year ... I didn't know what to do .. so I am assuming the decision was made for me ... so back to the boarding house and have at it again ... but that year .. I was a bit more seasoned .. and I met a couple of people during the year who helped me quite a bit .. one who is still a close friend today .. this was the beginning of my real life skills training ... and it was the beginning of some very hard lessons learned ... and some memories that still torment me to this day ... 

Phil (3 January 2021 - San Patricio de Melaque - 7:04 PM)

Krome Koan - 'One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory'